Should I include an introduction explaining why I want the role?
Using a Motivation Introduction in a Civil Service Personal Statement
Hello,
I am applying for my first Civil Service role at AO level. The application asks for a 500-word personal statement against communication, customer service and organisation criteria.
My current draft starts with a paragraph explaining that I am passionate about public service, interested in the department's work and keen to develop a long-term Civil Service career.
That introduction uses nearly 90 words. Friends have told me it shows motivation, while online advice says every word should be evidence.
Should I keep a short introduction, move the motivation to the end or remove it completely?
Quick Answer
Use the opening to orient the reader to your relevant experience and the role requirements. Include motivation only where the advert asks for it or where one short sentence adds useful context.
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How I Would Use the First 90 Words of This AO Statement
Continue reading to see what I would cut from the motivation paragraph and how I would replace it with evidence that supports the sift.
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